What A House Isn’t

Photo by Julián Gentilezza on Unsplash

We are coming up on a season of being between homes. The lease for our second floor apartment ends June 6th and we’ve been house hunting since the beginning of March. If you wonder why we’re looking to buy in this crazy market, see previously mentioned apartment description. Our boys have so much energy (time will tell if sweet baby girl shares this common trait) and they start going as soon as they wake up in the morning, which is anytime between 5:30 am-6:30 am (but the goal is always 6:30 am). Anyways, it’s definitely time for our family to transition to a different type of home.

To be honest, this season has been hard. The thought of not having a place to go after our lease ends is not only a terrible feeling, but a logistical headache. And honestly, it’s not even a desire for a house that outweighs everything else, it’s this intense longing to just know. I just want to know what we are supposed to do so I can find my happy heart about it and prepare for it well, for the sake of my family. I just want to know how to respond to my two year old when he asks, “How many more minutes till we get a house?” And just in case you’ve been hiding under a rock, or just haven’t had a reason to know what’s going on in the real estate market…it’s crazy. Houses are selling really really fast (think 24-48hrs on the market before going under contract) and often way over the asking price (which is already inflated because of the current market). Then add in the fact that we really want to be within 15 minutes from our church and community, and we want a good school for our kids, and well… some days this feels insurmountable. (I should also add that our price range seems to be a really stinky one when you consider how often cash offers are made for houses this price, something super common but no where near attainable for our family.)

I desperately hope before long I can fill these posts with details about our new house, or at least our plan while we wait for a new house. But until then, I need to remind my own heart what a house isn’t, and I thought I’d share in case some of you need this reminder, too.

A house is not:

• Our family’s salvation

  Only Christ is our salvation. Truly nothing else in this world can save. While this may seem strange to think about…consider how often your heart and mind clings to a mantra of “if we only had…then we…” Friends, this mindset is exhausting and does not end in life. A house is temporary and definitely not a saving means for souls that were made for eternity.

• The end all be all

  Once again, a house is temporary, even a “forever home”.

• The key to our family’s happiness

  We will still have grumpy moments in a new house. Our kids will still get bored even if we have a yard. All of our tensions will not disappear. In fact, old tensions will likely just be replaced with new ones. And more bedrooms and square footage does not equal more happiness.

• The missing piece to a peaceful life

  A peaceful life really isn’t a result of external surroundings, it’s the outworking of your internal state. That is why cleaning out and minimizing can make things feel more peaceful, however, because it frees mental space, allowing for a better internal state. True peace comes only from Christ and keeping our eyes fixed on him, regardless of our external circumstances.

• Our identity

  While a house may be an outward display of what we value, it’s not who we are, and it doesn’t define us.

• Our hope

  If you put your hope in a house, it will surely disappoint. A house is an incredible gift and tool to live a life you feel called to, but it can’t be what our hope is in. We will appreciate the house much more actually if we don’t put that expectation on it.

• Our constant

  Houses get old, storms come, fires blaze, relocation becomes necessary. A house can’t be a family’s constant. It’s what the family builds within the walls of a house that is the constant. And the greatest foundation to build upon is Christ.

• Our measure of success

  We are not any more or less successful based on our house. In all reality, we are probably just more or less in debt.

• Our worth

  Hopefully we will always value and esteem people as far greater than the dwelling they occupy. You are not worth more as a person if you own instead of rent, or have a bigger house or smaller house, or nicer house or more beautiful house.

• A limitation

  The joke is on us if we think the number of bedrooms and square footage allows us or keeps us from going after a life we feel called to live, or dreams that are growing inside of us. A house will only limit us if we let it. So don’t.

A house can be a lot of things, just don’t forget what a house isn’t.